What is it about new beginnings that is so unsettling? The long-awaited day is here. Me and the kiddos have looked forward to the start of school, all three reached their destinations on time, and I have a ball of anxiety in my stomache. I should be overjoyed, exuberant, doing the Tweezy dance like my friend down the road. Instead, I'm fighting the urge to email my youngest's teacher and make sure he is in the seat with his name on it. I wonder if I text Em, will her phone go off in class and humiliate her? Can I just send a short "U ok?" How pathetic would it be to drop in on my 6th grader's lunchtime, the first day?
What is going on with me? I have been counting down the days until the little rascals could go back to the heavenly place parents call "the school building". I have been clinching my teeth for at least a couple of weeks now. If I gave myself one more time out, I'm sure the kids would report me. The deep breaths ceased working many days ago. Why am I longing for a little peck on the cheek? A sniff of sweaty hair? The thumpthump of too loud music from upstairs?
I do love time with my kids. They are the most wonderful creatures on the face of this earth. They are creative, beautiful, talented, brilliant. Why then does it have to be this feast or famine? Oh, how I love my sweet children! When will the bus be here?!?